The Ghosts Of Futures Lost
by ExellentlyEllen
Summary: AU. Felicity has a friend, and a kickass job... But sometimes things change, and it's up to you to make the best of it.
1. Prologue

**So, this is my birhtday present to myself (Thursday was the big day, 26 on the 26th). It seems like the plot bunnies just won't leave me be, or maybe it's just this World Cup that is making me write all this stuff (toned men in short shorts are really good for my imagination it seems)**

**It's AU, but will still feature the vigilante, just because you can't beat the salmon ladder or those lovely leather pants.**

**I hope you guys like this, if not, I'll probably repost it as a one-shot in my other story.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except a lot of imagination and a freakish love for TV-shows.**

**I hope you guys like it! Leave me reviews please, consider them a birthday present!**

* * *

Prologue

"The world has gone completely crazy!" he said, while dropping in the booth in front of his friend. "How is it possible that a fantastically good-looking guy like me doesn't have a date for tonight? It isn't! And that my friend, is why the entire world has gone absolutely off its rockers!" His companion cocked her head to the side and said "Or, and this is just a random idea so don't shoot me, you've just gone through all of the available and most of the unavailable women in this city. And you know what they say 'fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…'."

His expression turned a little darker, but the sparkle in his eyes made it clear he wasn't really upset. "So, basically you're saying I'm a man-whore? 'Cause that's what I'm taking from this conversation." Her smile grew wider and a chuckle escaped her lips. "I never said those words, but let's just roll with it. It's not that you're not a fun guy to hang out with, but this whole 'love 'em and leave 'em' attitude can be a little off putting for some women." She took a sip from her coffee while he was thinking that over, and he suddenly got a very devious look in his eyes.

"Some women, but not you, right?" he asked her, trying very hard to sound casual and not calculated. But she knew him to well, and wasn't easily fooled by his trickery. "Well, no, not me. But then again, I've never had the desire to end up with your last name. Which, coincidentally also makes me infinitely smarter than any of those other women." She glanced down at her watch, and saw that lunchtime was nearly over. "Oh damn, I need to get going. Superiors really frown upon being late. Not to mention my boss, he's a real hard-ass." She winked at him while sliding out of the booth and hiked her purse-string higher up her shoulder. When she was at the door, she heard him yell after her "So, I'll pick you up at seven? Wear something sexy, I've got a reputation to uphold!" The only response he got was her laugh ringing through the bistro and a hand waiving above her head.

* * *

There were a few things that Felicity Smoak really loved. She loved Marathon week on the SciFi channel. She loved comic book and movie franchises. And she absolutely loved technology. Which is probably why she loved her job so much. She got to create new tech, from design over programming to completion, and she loved every minute of it. Well, she loved every minute of it _usually_. Right at this moment though, it was not going the way it was supposed to. She and her teammates were in the process of creating a new kind of storage system that required less cooling for more storage-power. And while the design and the schematics were fantastic, there was a problem with the software. And, being the _teamleader _(and she hated that word from the bottom of her heart) it was her responsibility to find the error and fix it. So that's what she was doing. Going over lines and lines and lines of code, to find the one little error that prevented everything from working.

She'd been at it for several hours, and was totally engrossed with the lines that crossed over her screen. Which was why she didn't hear it when she had a visitor. In fact, she didn't even notice it when he came over to her desk and stood behind her, looking over her shoulder. It wasn't until he spoke that she realized he was there. "So, are you really working late, or are you just hoping you can hide from me here? Contrary to popular belief, I do not burst in flames by walking into a place of business." She was startled so badly, she jumped about a foot in the air. She was too busy to try and stop her heart from beating out of her chest to really focus on his words, but when they finally sunk in, she snorted.

"No, you just break out in hives and fake an allergic reaction." She retorted. "Why are you here? I'm working you know. It's not because _your_ dad owns this company that you can keep _me_from my work. I've got important things to do you know." She frowned at him, because he knew how much she hated being interrupted when she was in the zone. "Felicity, you do realize it's 6.30 right? I told you I would pick you up at 7, and you were to dress appropriately. And while me and every other male in this office really appreciates your tight and short skirts, they are not really gala dress-code."

She glanced down at the bottom right corner of her screen and realized he was right; she'd been at this code non-stop since 12.30. Still, if he hadn't shown up, it could have been midnight before she stopped working. It wouldn't be the first time. And she highly preferred work over a stupid gala with all of Starling's elite. "I don't recall actually agreeing to go with you to that stupid thing. And even if I would, which I don't, I don't have anything to wear. Galas aren't my usual Friday night entertainment you know." He laughed at that, the sound she had always found oddly melodic for him.

"You know you'd never say no to me, you love me too much for that. And, if you don't go with me, they would revoke your best-friend membership card. And I got you something to wear, so don't say I never gave you anything." Darn that boyish charm. She knew she wouldn't say no, because she wasn't nearly cruel enough to let him go into society alone. That would be as damaging to him as it was to society. But she'd be damned if she agreed without a fight. His ego was inflated enough as it was, no need to add to that.

"I'll go with you, but not because you asked me. I'll go for the sole reason that at these galas they usually have the good red wine. And you know I'm a sucker for the good stuff." His grin was so wide; it nearly split his face in half. He took her hand and said "I've secured you the executive bathroom, so you can get ready here. And don't give me that bull about needing your make-up and stuff, because I know for a fact that 99% of the contents of your purse are make-up related. So come on, get up and get going. We've got wine to drink and people to make fun of."

She sighed and stood, but was secretly very excited to get ready in the executive bathroom. She'd heard stories about that thing, but really didn't believe most of it. The stories about it got bigger and bigger with every new employee, and at the moment the number of people who had actually been in there were limited to the boss and his son. And now, Felicity herself.

When she got up to the 55th floor and opened the bathroom door, she was actually a little disappointed. It was beautiful, but the rumors of bathtubs the size of a boat and golden faucets were very much exaggerations. But the shower was all it was rumored, and much, much more.

* * *

"You see that guy? The one with the hideous goat-tee and the ill-fitting suit?" He asked her, while not so subtly pointing over to the man in question. "Yes, I and every other person within a 10 foot radius see the man. What about him? She asked, a little embarrassed but a lot more curious. "Well, he and that brunette girl from that law firm, you know the one we went to high school with, are having an affair. And to think that his wife keeps flaunting her new jewelry like it's a sign of love. It's not by the way, it's a sign of guilt. And by the size of that 3 carat diamond, he's got a lot of it."

His whispers weren't really whispers, and she saw several women looking at him with a frown on their faces. Also, several of them were inspecting their respective jewelry, and probably trying to figure out if they too were guilt-money. In about half of the cases, she suspected it would be. "And how do you know this? Usually you're the last to know any of the gossip. Mostly because everybody knows that when they tell you something, it won't stay a secret for too long. You're a blabby drunk."

"I might have hit on her a few weeks ago, but she was less than willing to have me entertain her. She kept glancing at the old dude, frowning whenever he kissed his wife. A can put two and two together, I'm a society brat after all." She laughed at that. It was typical of him to forget the girl he slept with after senior prom and who followed him around for the entire summer after that. "You mean _Laurel Lance_? You seriously tried to pick up Laurel? Are you completely insane. Last time you went after her she stalked you for an entire summer. They had to send her across the country for college, just to keep her away from you!"

He blanched a little at her statement. "_That's_ Laurel? Wow, she's all grown up now. I didn't even recognize her. Much less crazy now that she's older." He turned towards the bar and motioned the bartender for a Gin-Tonic. There were certain memories that required red wine to forget, like the time he jumped in the river on a dare and ended up with a nasty yeast infection. Or the time he tried to do a summersault with his BMX bike and landed on his shoulder. Laurel Lance however, was definitely a memory that required something a little stronger to forget.

"Oh no! Your dad is coming over here. Please don't do anything to piss him off, I'm still reeling from the last time you did something stupid. Like it was _my_ fault that you are a moron who can't back down from a challenge." She was contemplating about running away, maybe make some excuse about the ladies room, just to get away from him. He was her boss, but that didn't mean she had to like him. She'd always found him a little (or a lot) creepy, with that smile that never really reached his eyes, and the thinly veiled contempt he had towards her. After all, a scholarship to a private school does not make you worthy of actually going there. Much less make friends with the richest children there. He only tolerated her now because she was a genius and he needed her.

"Son, I would say that it surprises me to see you here, but we are at the bar after all. And we all know that is your natural habitat." She also hated the way he acted towards his son. Like he was constantly ashamed of him. "Wow dad, you're here? I thought the sun was going to be up for at least another half hour. You shouldn't take chances like that with your health. Or maybe just have your security carry a fire-extinguisher around with them, in case you accidentally burst into flames." He turned towards Felicity and took her hand "Come on Liss, I think I need to show you off on the dance floor. Dad, if you'll excuse us."

When they reached the dance floor she slapped his shoulder. "Auw, what did you do that for?" he asked her, while rubbing his hand over his the spot she'd hit him in. "Because if you keep on mouthing off to your dad like that, he's going to cut you off. And where would you be without that lovely little trust fund?" She scolded him, all the while still slowly swaying to the music with him. "Well, I'd probably be staying on your couch, since I wouldn't be able to afford my apartment anymore." he said charmingly. She just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "No way you're going anywhere near my couch. Some things a couch just can't recover from."

* * *

Their wine intake of the night was equal to the time progression. Until about midnight, when he decided they needed to steal a bottle of wine and get the hell out of there. They decided to find a quiet place to make the bottle less full.

They drank in silence, sitting on a bench in the gardens behind the Symphony where the gala was hosted. When the bottle was about three quarters gone, he started talking. "So, I've noticed you haven't dated anybody since…" his voice trailed off. There was no need for him to finish it, she knew what he was talking about. "Is that even healthy? It's been so long already. It's not good for you to be alone all the time. You need to move on." She wanted to be upset with him, for bringing this up now and killing her buzz. But she knew he was right. There hadn't been anybody since she lost the love of her life. "No, I suppose it's not really healthy. But I'm not alone, I've got you, and that's all I need right now."

"Felicity… "he turned towards her. His face dangerously close to hers. "You need to let somebody in, I'm worried. He's gone and he's not coming back. You need to get past it." And then he kissed her.

* * *

She woke up in his bed, him still softly snoring next to her. Her head was pounding like somebody was banging on it with a jackhammer. What she really needed right now was a bloody mary and a pretzel. She shuffled to the kitchen and turned on the TV along the way. She had just picked up her drink when she heard it.

_After presumed dead for 5 years after the sinking of the Queen's Gambit, Oliver Queen has returned to Starling City. He was rescued off an island in the South China Sea late Thursday night…_

She didn't hear anything what was said after. She stood there, glass in shards on the floor, dropped out of shock from hearing his name. Oliver. Not dead. Her mind couldn't comprehend what was happening. He came rushing to her when he heard the sound of the glass hitting the ground, not quite knowing what was wrong until she pointed at the TV. His eyes went wide at the sight of his friend's picture on the news, headline below stating _'Oliver Queen rescued_'. He turned back to Felicity hugging her tight to him before she crumbled to the floor. "Tommy… he's alive."

* * *

**So, what did you guys think? Did I fool you? Would you like it if I continued? Let me know please.**

**A/N2: For all the Americans who read this story and also (sort of) follow the World Cup; be prepared to get absolutely crushed when you face off agains us on Tuesday! Belgian Red Devils for the win! (Sorry, my patriotism just got the better of me :D )**


	2. Chapter One: Thinking Things Over

**So, i've got some followers, but not that much reviews, so please if you like it then you shoulda put a review on it...**

**I hope chapter one is to your liking!**

**happy reading!**

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Chapter One: Thinking things over

_Thirteen years earlier_

_Felicity stood outside the house, looking up at it with a mixture of awe and fear. This was supposed to be her new home, the start of her new life. A better life, away from drugs and abuse and neglect. But right in that moment, all she wanted was to go back home, to her own bed. To the way things had been before Child Protective Services had decided she needed rescuing. _

_The thing was, she really didn't need rescuing. She'd been doing just fine on her own for the past 2 years, taking care of herself. After Dennis Smoak had left (she refuses to call him 'dad') her mother had been a mess. She had gone looking for comfort at the bottom of a bottle, going on binges for days on end. Felicity, at the ripe age of 8, had learned how to take care of herself. But even if she did a good job looking after herself, there was only so much she could do with the resources she had. If there was no money, she couldn't pay rent or pay the bills or buy food. _

_And so, after her mom had missed 7 appointments with the guidance counselor at school, they had sent over somebody to check up on Felicity. They had noticed several changes to Felicity in the last 2 years. She was getting really thin, wasn't as chatty and bubbly anymore. Her clothes were beginning to get torn, even though they were always clean, and she always showered at school after gym (something she never did before). They had noticed all these things, multiple times over the course of the 2 years, but Felicity always had a good explanation. She always had good excuses as to why her mother missed the meetings. Until one day she didn't._

_And that day had led to her being here, in front of this strange house, with people she'd just met 2 days earlier. Her aunt Linda and uncle David, another pair of Smoaks, but decidedly different than her own. David and Dennis were brothers, but hadn't spoken to each other since Felicity had been born. They didn't know he had left her, and they didn't know how 'bad' it had gotten for Felicity (she didn't think it was bad, she thought she did a very fine job of taking care of herself) . And when Child Protective Services contacted them, they took her in without questioning. In the beginning Felicity had thought it was guilt that drove them. Later she learned that it wasn't about guilt, but about love._

* * *

Felicity was sitting on the floor in front of her couch, mindlessly playing with the necklace she wore. Thinking about the last time she had felt this lost. She felt as if her entire world had been turned upside down. Everything she thought was real, turned out not to be. The one event that had made her who she was now, was a lie. Oliver was not dead. Not. Dead. Alive. Here. In Starling City once again. Maybe it wasn't that her life had been turned upside down. No that had happened 5 years ago, when the Queen's Gambit sunk to the bottom of the South China Sea. Now, her life now was turned right side up again. Because Oliver was alive. And that was the way the world should be, with Oliver in it. The problem was, that Felicity got so used to her world being upside down, that she didn't know what to do with herself now that everything had changed again.

She'd spent weeks crying, after she'd heard the news. Didn't even go to his funeral, because she was so distraught. She went through the motions of living, but not actually feeling it. She did what people expected of her. Go to school, graduate, go to work, have your own home,… . It had all become pointless to Felicity back then. And every milestone she passed, she cried, because Oliver wasn't there to see it. To be happy with her. To be proud of her.

It had taken 3 years, 2 therapists and a boatload of medication for Felicity to come back to the world. And if it hadn't been for her foster brother Roy and her friend Tommy, she would have still been a shell of herself. They showed her there were still things to live for, still things to be happy about. And while she never forgot Oliver, or the pain she had from losing him, she did find ways to enjoy life once again. If only to honor him.

But now, he was back. All of the pain and loss and depression didn't mean anything, because he wasn't dead. He hadn't been dead. She's mad at herself, for not insisting they look more, harder, further. She hates herself for believing he was dead, while she should have _felt_ he was alive. And she hated herself for not knowing how she felt. She had loved him for so long, but what about now?

So she sat on the floor, mindlessly playing with the necklace around her neck. The diamond reflecting patterns on her wall.

* * *

Oliver stood by the window in his hospital room, looking out over the city. It hadn't changed much over the past 5 years, and yet it was completely different to him. It was different, because he was different. And he didn't see the city like he used to. He couldn't, because now he knew the secrets that hid beneath the surface. He had changed, and that was a good thing, because the Oliver he was 5 years ago, would never do the things that needed to be done. Wouldn't take the actions that needed to be taken, in order to save his city.

He looked casual, standing there in front of the window, but looks can be deceiving. He was in tune with every beep, every whisper, every shuffle that came from outside his room. His mother was there, talking to the doctor. About his scars. 20% he told her. 20% of his body was covered in scar tissue. If he could look inside Oliver, there would have been an even higher percentage. More like, _only_ 20% on the outside, and completely scarred on the inside.

He didn't allow himself to think of her a lot. Because she's better off without him, and thinking about her will only make him want to see her. He needs to stay away from her, to keep her safe. He's not the man he used to be, he's colder, more distant, darker. And even though he doesn't know her now, he knows she'll always be light. His needs and wants are not important. His mission and her safety is. So he needs to stay away from her, and needs to stay away from thinking about her. But that's a lot easier said than done.

* * *

_Twelve years earlier_

"_You're Felicity Smoak?!" His voice is laced with disbelief and a little condescending. But that's his default setting, so she shouldn't take that personally. "What are you, like 5?" he says, not believing she is actually who she says she is. "I am Felicity Smoak, and no, I'm not 5, I'm almost 12, and you're an ass." She said matter of factly. "And if you want to pass algebra, I'd suggest you stop being one, and start bringing me apples." He snorted at that. For a little girl, she was actually kind of funny. "Apples? You're standing in front of the son of a billionaire, and all you ask for is apples? You might not be as smart as you think you are." He laughed a little, smug smile on his face and chest puffed out. "Well, I happen to like apples. And if you were a horse ranchers' son, you wouldn't see me asking for manure either. So are we done with this whole bit? Because I've looked at your grades and believe me when I say, we've got a lot of work ahead of us."_

* * *

She'd caught him by surprise back then. Like a snarky blonde whirlwind, she'd come into his life and uprooted everything. And by the time he'd graduated, he actually had the grades that where required from a Harvard legacy, and not just the cash to buy his way in. She'd saved him then, and he would keep her safe now. He owed her that.

* * *

By the time Felicity was done reminiscing, it was 8 PM and her stomach was growling like mad. And, like a genie from a bottle, Tommy walked in with a big ass pizza box. "Special delivery for Felicity Smoak." She gave him a watery smile. He always knew what she needed when feeling… well anything really. Stress? No fear, the Mexican take out boxes appeared like magic. Sad? Chinese food and mint-chocolate chip ice-cream. Apparently having the love of your life come back from the dead was a pizza kind of moment.

They ate in comfortable silence for a while, before Tommy spoke. "I'm sorry Liss, about last night." His gaze was locked on a spot of pink nail polish on her rug, not wanting to look her in the eyes. He was never really good at apologies and this one was particularly hard, because he wasn't all that sorry about the kiss, because she was a beautiful woman and he'd always wondered. "She dropped the slice of pizza she was holding and put her hand over his. "No need Tommy. It was just a kiss, between two consenting adults. You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did I. But that being said, I think it was mostly the wine talking, and maybe it's best if we forget it happened?" She shook his hand a little, trying to get him to look at her. The kiss had been nice, but he was Tommy, her best friend. Oliver's best friend. And a major player on top of that. She loved him, sure, but more like a brother.

"You're right, that kiss was a little weird right? I've always wondered about kissing you. Didn't think it would be like kissing my own sister." He grimaced at the thought of that. Like he would ever kiss Thea like that. Gross!

After she promised Tommy she'd go to sleep, he left, and she was alone again. She sat on her couch, staring at nothing in particular, until her eye fell on her DVD collection. She went over and started to frantically search for one movie in particular. Once she found it, she put it in the DVD player and sat back on the couch. If she was going to be a masochist tonight, she might as well do it right. And she pressed play.

* * *

_5 years ago, March_

"_Come on Tommy, put away that stupid camera! These are not moments that need to be saved for future generations!." Felicity yelled laughingly. They were at the beach in Florida, spring breaking like the best of them. Well, the boys were spring breaking. She was trying to read a book. "Come on Liss! This is fun. You can show your future kids what a boring college student looks like!" he laughed at his own joke, which had probably more to do with the amount of tequila he'd drunk, rather than the fact it was a good joke. _

"_Felicity, put the book away and go with me into the water. Please?!" Oliver's puppy dog eyes begged her, and who was she to say no to them. She dropped her book and ran towards him, jumping up into his arms and landing a kiss on his lips. "Okay, but only if you find me a stick." Oliver looked at her like she'd grown 2 heads all of a sudden. "A stick? What the hell do you need a stick for?" She grinned at him and said "To beat the other women off of you of course, they've been circling you like sharks, and since harpooning them might be a little excessive, a stick will do just fine."_

She fell asleep watching the movie, silent tears rolling down her cheeks while she was hugging a pillow tight to her.


End file.
